I know I sort of fell off the face of the earth for the past few days. That’s what usually happens to me on the weekends due to work. Yesterday was my first day off the cleanse. I was debating doing more than ten days but I decided not to. Having a clean body right now has inspired me to just keep it clean. You don’t invest time and sacrifice, just to throw it away. There are plenty of natural foods that taste just as good or better than junk food.
One thing I learned the hard way is that you need to come off the cleanse properly. Don’t think that you can eat anything on your first or even second day. It will come out of you like diarrhea after your stomach attempts to digest it after oh, ten days without food. It’s not going to be able to do it, so follow the rules. Have fresh orange juice all day on your first day coming off the cleanse and the following day as well. It might be tempting to eat, and it’s not going to upset your stomach right away, but later, oh man, later, it’s not going to be pretty.
Just freaking tough it out, man. Have smoothies but don’t dare go for solids, even if it’s vegetables. You can’t take it yet. I learned the hard way!
So anyway, the experience was more spiritual than anything and I’m debating doing it again come fall, but we’ll see how life turns. For now, I have learned to appreciate my body as a wonderful, intricate machine that requires proper care and routine maintenance, just like a car. This cleanse has inspired me to take better care of my machine everyday. After all, I only have one body.
At this point, I am very encouraged. I feel like I could do this for maybe longer than the ten days. If I could make it through this past weekend at my job, being surrounded by food, and hanging with my girlfriend while she ate a burger and fries in front of me, I think I can handle being in social situations.
This time around, the cleanse doesn’t feel like a problem. I don’t mind the saltwater flush and I’ve learned that I enjoy drinking the lemonade more when it is on ice, so that’s how I drink it (with a straw also). I’ve learned to embrace the smells of food rather than avoid them.
Yesterday afternoon, my girlfriend and I had lunch, or rather I talked to her while she ate, then we went to see a movie. The theater smelled like warm popcorn. I just inhaled the smell and that was enough for me. I mean, things usually smell better than they taste. Don’t get me wrong, I love the taste of food, but often times it just weighs you down and you regret it.
Smelling the popcorn reminded me of my parents and how they are both popcorn lovers. I started thinking about their divorce and how even though they are separated, I can see how they are very much alike because they do, say, and think very similarly even though they don’t see each other anymore. I became grateful that they are my parents, that I was raised by two goofballs who are very free-spirited. I felt grateful that I was able to come out of that partnership while it was still good. That’s where my thoughts went when I smelled popcorn!
I think what’s different about my cleanse this time around, is that I’m allowing myself to feel everything without resisting discomfort. That’s definitely something I learned from practicing Bikram yoga. It can be very uncomfortable to feel like your body is overheating in an oven-like room, but you are just supposed to lay there, stand there in peace. Sure, all sorts of things come up for me while I am cleansing, but I let them come, I embrace them, and I allow myself to think, to feel, to really be with my feelings and that’s where the breakthroughs happen.
This weekend was challenging because I work in a restaurant where there is food available to us pretty much all the time. Saturday was super busy for me so I didn’t have time to breathe, let alone replenish myself enough to feel okay. Yesterday was slow as hell so it was better, but man, the Father’s Day buffet smelled amazing!
My sense of smell has heightened ten-fold. I smell everything, from the delicious to the putrid. I feel like everything has heightened, my sensitivity especially. I require clarity more than anything and I definitely find myself wanting people to be clear with me when they speak and act. I am clear. I’ve been living clear. This cleanse is clearing me out in many ways. What I want in life, in my relationships, work opportunities, has become more clear over the past five days. I’m at that mid-point and proud to be where I am.
Yesterday was hard. It’s hardest when I’m social. One of my girlfriends came over my place yesterday to swim but didn’t want to stay that long because she was hungry. She kept saying how she didn’t know how I could be doing this thing. Well, I think a lot of people just don’t know how THEY themselves could do a thing like this. This is my fourth time doing the cleanse, and each time becomes more like clockwork.
I don’t cringe as much when I drink saltwater, I make sure to plan ahead, and really pay attention to what my mind/body is telling me. For me, what’s coming up is finding a new job, traveling, and accepting that I’m an old soul. I love what I do right now because it allows me a certain amount of freedom to travel and pursue my creative endeavors. You know, I take that back. I love what I do right now. That’s all that matters. I just need to trust that I’m in the right place and that all is perfect. Really I just need to trust in the universe. Trusting allows for more enjoyment and peace. I just need to remember that.
Yesterday I felt like I was barely hanging on. Today I feel a lot better. Music and dancing helps. Being in social situations….still haven’t figured that one out yet. I look forward to the day when I can be out with friends in a bar, sipping my lemonade (or kombucha) on ice and having just as good of a time without the aid of food or alcohol.