At this point, I am very encouraged. I feel like I could do this for maybe longer than the ten days. If I could make it through this past weekend at my job, being surrounded by food, and hanging with my girlfriend while she ate a burger and fries in front of me, I think I can handle being in social situations.
This time around, the cleanse doesn’t feel like a problem. I don’t mind the saltwater flush and I’ve learned that I enjoy drinking the lemonade more when it is on ice, so that’s how I drink it (with a straw also). I’ve learned to embrace the smells of food rather than avoid them.
Yesterday afternoon, my girlfriend and I had lunch, or rather I talked to her while she ate, then we went to see a movie. The theater smelled like warm popcorn. I just inhaled the smell and that was enough for me. I mean, things usually smell better than they taste. Don’t get me wrong, I love the taste of food, but often times it just weighs you down and you regret it.
Smelling the popcorn reminded me of my parents and how they are both popcorn lovers. I started thinking about their divorce and how even though they are separated, I can see how they are very much alike because they do, say, and think very similarly even though they don’t see each other anymore. I became grateful that they are my parents, that I was raised by two goofballs who are very free-spirited. I felt grateful that I was able to come out of that partnership while it was still good. That’s where my thoughts went when I smelled popcorn!
I think what’s different about my cleanse this time around, is that I’m allowing myself to feel everything without resisting discomfort. That’s definitely something I learned from practicing Bikram yoga. It can be very uncomfortable to feel like your body is overheating in an oven-like room, but you are just supposed to lay there, stand there in peace. Sure, all sorts of things come up for me while I am cleansing, but I let them come, I embrace them, and I allow myself to think, to feel, to really be with my feelings and that’s where the breakthroughs happen.