Cultivating our own reality

There is nothing we don’t see in our world that we didn’t put there, whether it be beautiful or ugly.

I sat this morning watching my grandma eat cereal covered in aspartame mixed with fruit and thought, “you are going to kill your brain cells and give yourself indigestion, all before 10am?”

I could feel my blood boiling and my energy sinking because I felt powerless. As much as I’d encouraged my grandmother to eat healthy and even offer her healthy options, she still chooses her own set beliefs and actions. Within the same minute, I received a text message from the person I am dating and smiled with joy,  thinking…”how grateful I am to have you in my world.”

You see, there are two things going on here: a positive new beginning, and an old encrusted stubborn way of being.

I brought my dude into my world and have kept him here with my positive thoughts. I usually go out with very positive people, just bursting with good vibes and love.

But there are things like my past and my family that make me wonder about what their presence in my life has to teach me. I have heard Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer say that we choose our parents because they are the best people to teach us what we need to learn in this life. I think that’s great and true.

As a 30-year old female, I am thinking about my future legacy a.k.a having children. All the women my age are. It’s just the way it is. Not to say, we aren’t thinking about our careers and our own growth/development, but we are also thinking about our children.

I’ll be honest in saying that I’ve held out this long without having kids because I really wasn’t ready. It wasn’t until the last three years that I became aware of my subconscious beliefs and finally came to terms with my dark fears and let go of resentments. If I hadn’t done that, I probably would’ve passed this on to a child and the cycle of destruction would have continued.

I am a very loving person and I think love can come very easily to people if you let it. I attract love into my life every day because I choose to think loving thoughts. I wasn’t born into this, believe me. I come from a fearful family. Somehow I knew my family could be so wrong as a child. I like to think of it as guardian angels whispered into my ear and said, “this isn’t the only way to be.”

Nowadays,  I look at being born into my family as a lesson. It’s my life lesson to learn to accept myself completely even though it’s often been implied that I wasn’t good enough. It’s my challenge to believe that I’m completely perfect and cultivate love for the most vile and mean-spirited personalities because really they are just hurt, fearful people who are in desperate need of love. Loving stubborn people even when they are set in their ways can be challenging but one of the greatest and essential spiritual lessons to learn.

Something I’ve been dealing with is just leaving people alone and letting them be even though I can see their path to destruction. Trying to pull people off their set paths is like a human trying to stop a bullet train. You’ll kill yourself trying and the bullet train will just keep on going and inevitably get to its destination.

What can I learn from this?

I’ve heard many say that the best way to take care of others is to take care of yourself first. You can’t change people. You can only change yourself first. People come into your reality because you needed them there to teach you something. You asked for them to be in your life somehow, in some way, shape, or form. I see my lessons before me every day because I encounter three generations of behaviors and the opportunity for me to be different because I make the effort to be aware and change.


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