I have been in Arizona for almost one year. I came here last May and started this blog. It’s been really awesome and I almost don’t want to go back to Los Angeles because I feel very detached from all prior worries yet still full of love from my best friends and family. It’s strange. I didn’t think I would feel that way coming here because you know, you leave your home state and city that you’ve lived in your whole life and go somewhere new with no expectations, so you don’t know what you are getting into. But somehow I made it through nearly four seasons of Arizona, including one hell of a summer.
Coming here last May I just jumped right in with an open mind but of course made sure I rooted myself in my yoga practice. I have to say my yoga practice has kept me going and vitalized. And wherever I go, it’s one thing I cannot live without.
I guess I’ve been feeling a little weird about leaving this place because I cultivated a beautiful peace, learned and discovered so much while being here: Kombucha making, blogging, detox dieting, A Course in Miracles, growth in my yoga practice, and even a more disciplined writing practice, and truly enjoying the company of myself.
I absolutely love, love, love being in solitude. It’s how we introverts recharge. We can be around people sure, but being in solitude is how we get that energy back. So I’m really grateful for this time that I have because I get to think and be with myself.
And a word on long distance relationships, hey, I did it. I’m doing it. It can be done. It’s hard sometimes but for the most part I recommend it if you are thinking about marrying someone. If you can live without that person and still be in love, then that’s a great thing. My relationship actually grew stronger while I was away because I got more focused on myself rather than whether or not my relationship was going anywhere, but we talk nearly every day and I don’t even trip when we don’t because I know we are busy with good reason. I give him the space he needs to get it together and he gives me mine. No jealousy, no expectations, no worries.
People are unhappy in relationships when they don’t like their own individual lives.
Doing long distance gives you the time you need to focus on you and what you need rather than worry about what the relationship needs or lacks, or whatever. I’m in my late 20’s so I have a lot of girlfriends who are either getting married, or wanting to get married and sort of worried about it. I think when you stop worrying about all that mumbo jumbo and focus on yourself, then it’s not an issue. I always ask myself whenever I’ve worried about marriage: Are you really where you want to be in your life?
And then I say, no and it immediately snaps me out of that and I just go back to my life, and remember, oh yea, I have goals, duh!
I had these thoughts today as I thought about what it would be like for me when I return to Los Angeles in the spring. I want to feel positive about my actions. I’m extremely grateful to be here right now. I just want to continue feeling positive about moving home to assist my grandmother because she needs the help.
No matter where I go, I am with myself and I will carry the love I worked to cultivate.