It’s the halfway point and things are good for the most part, but last night I started to get really hungry and I started to think of freshman year in high school when I kinda starved myself for around a month. You know, little girls (and many boys) growing up in America, and even more so in Los Angeles, are heavily influenced by warped depictions of women (and men) in the media, so I think a lot of us go through stuff like this at least once in their lives.
I wasn’t alone in my starvation either. My friend Lena joined me on the quest. We both had attended private intermediate schools and were all of the sudden thrown into a public school setting where we didn’t feel like we fit in, but we had each other. We were two naïve little fourteen year olds that didn’t know any better.
She was nearly six feet and gorgeous, Armenian, and totally normal in body weight. I was pretty normal too and only about 5’4″ but I had been told I was chubby a great deal of my life because I came from a narcissistic and vain family. I don’t remember whose idea it was to stop eating, but we started doing it and loved it for a while because we were losing weight. I would basically just eat a little bit of fruit and maybe white rice here and there. I didn’t know jack about health. All I knew was that whatever I was doing was working and I was losing weight. And then one day Lena told me that her parents got so upset with her for starving herself that they made her sit down and eat steak and she nearly threw up. It was then that I realized that maybe what I was doing was wrong. My family wasn’t going to tell me what I was doing was wrong because they were weight obsessed and anything that worked was fair game. After that, Lena stopped starving herself and so did I. Eventually my weight stabilized and I accepted myself for who I was, somehow. I thank Lena and her family for reminding me that starvation is stupid.
I think the lemonade cleanse can be viewed as a deprivation diet because you aren’t eating, but you aren’t essentially starving yourself unless you don’t drink enough lemonade. And that’s what happened to me last night. After some reflection, I realized I only drank about six glasses throughout the day when you can have up to twelve. I’ve gotten to this point where I’m not really into the lemonade as much. It’s really tasty but I find myself not even feeling like drinking it but I have to remind myself that it’s the way I get the nutrients and if I don’t drink enough, I’ll get hungry like last night.
So I made myself go to bed early and I slept in today since it’s my day off. After having enough lemonade today, I feel way better. My energy has restored and I rejoice in knowing I only have five more days to go. That’s really not that long. I feel strong and I know I am doing something to benefit my insides.
I don’t view the lemonade cleanse as a means to losing weight because it’s not recommended to drink only lemonade forever. For me there’s there’s a whole lot more to it and it’s mostly about cleansing.