Today is the last day of the week and I’m about to embark on a new week of cleansing, basically going through phase 1 and 2 of Ani Phyo’s raw food cleanse again! I guess I’m not really looking forward to it because I have already started the beginning of the cleanse so many times in the past that I pretty much have the recipes memorized by heart.
I’ll have to say that this week has been really hard yet really eye opening. I have become more aware of when I feel like eating and that is usually when I get home and it’s never because I’m actually hungry. I just like to chew. Some might call it an oral fixation but I’m not a real gum chewer and I’m sure as hell not going to take up cigarette smoking. So what have I been doing to cope? Writing, exercising, browsing for clothes online, you know, exploring my feelings. I’m trying this thing where I’m feeling what it is that I’m feeling without trying to run away from it even if that means salivating while watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives and obsessing over cookbooks and the Food Network.
Honestly, I love food. Food is the most amazing thing on this planet an I just love to cook, experiment, explore restaurants, recipes, and of course eat it.
But anyway, I am so happy to have completed this week. My jeans feel so much looser and that is always a great motivation. But what really keeps me going is writing about this experience and getting through a week has been such a great accomplishment. My motivation at this point is not so much weight loss and cleansing as it is breaking the cycle of food and chemical addiction and dependency. I am so aware of the fact that I crave certain foods because they are addicting and created to be so. I don’t want to be addicted to food, man. Who does?
I want to be completely healthy and flowing with the universe. I think food has a lot to do with that. Is it possible to be completely raw all the time? I think It takes a lot of de-toxing and cleansing to do so and that’s what this journey is all about. One day I will not crave carbs. But for now, I’m taking it one day at a time and getting through week 1 of this cleanse is the first step.